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Creation Date: 2002-08-22
I got my CPU and mobo, hooray! It works like a dream! I copied my stuff from my Windows 2000 backup computer using NTFS 4 DOS, a sweet little program that you can get from Winternals Software. You probably don't know that Windows 98 can only read FAT16 and FAT32, and not NTFS, which is the file system for Windows NT, 2000, and XP. So anyone who has problems like I do and has a Win 98 and a Win NT/2000/XP computer, get the NTFS for DOS. It works just like good ol' DOS. ^_^ Read what I wrote last night below. But I'll tell you a bit about this image... Or not, I kinda forget. I think I was just trying to draw something rather than nothing. So I threw this and that together, really. The jpeg version is a low quality version from the actual scan. The PNG version has all the grainyiness of the paper deleted out using a simple magic wand tool. Don't leave home without it. ^_^ The trick is to mess with the tolerance. If you put the tolerance around 5, it won't get enough garbage. If you put it up at 25, you'll delete half of the lightly drawn image (like the knees there). So if you do it right, it'll be just perfect and you'll get this. It's small and it detailed. What else can I say? It's a fair drawing, but it has my normal traits: no consistency, no realism, hair is messy, and body looks abnormal. Since my computer is back online, I'm going to phase out the drawings and replace with sweet computer renderings. ^_^

Original Message:
I should have my new mobo and CPU tomorrow. So if all goes well, I'll upload this message without riding my bike at all. Good thing? Maybe. I've been getting plenty of exericise that I wasn't when my computers worked. The lesson today is to learn from your hardships. If you lose your computer, read a lot of good books, exercise, and learn Japanese. If you're stuck in bed, there's no better time to read, write, and draw. No food? Meditate. No shelter -- watch the stars. No TV -- be interactive. But if you suddenly fall back on good times, remember how much fun you had during your "hardships." Great Teacher Onidzuka explains this. GTO is a 22-year-old virgin teacher who wants to date his fiyyyne (extra y's added for effect) students. One gives herself to him and he plays the fool. She shuns her parents' million-dollar house and throws away very expensive sushi and goes to Onidzuka's run-down apartment. When the time comes, Onidzuka grows a conscience. She is lonely for her work-a-holic parents who used to have time for her when they were poor. So Onidzuka-sensei takes a sledgehammer and breaks down her parents' bedroom wall. Happy ending! The moral is that: "money can't buy me love." But it also tells me that one should not forget how happy they are living through "rough times." I myself am happiest working on broken things. Not that I would intentionally break things or that I like it when my computer is broken for a full month, but that I will very much wish to go back in time a few years from now. Epic problems are fun, that's why there's a general rule that books must be about epic problems (== conflict) instead of rich people lazing around (== no conflict).

I read the first 106 pages of George Orwell's 1984 and I'd like to make a few comments. The narrator, Winston, is more afraid than he is in danger. The totalitarian society he lives in is evil, but very fragile. How many people does it take to keep N people in line 24-7? N+1 at the very least. I can assure you that it's impossible in any society. With the help of children, it becomes more of a problem. However, people who aren't around children much are completely safe. The way that Big Brother keeps people like Winston under control is fear. Winston is a hopeless loser. Obviously the brainwashing has destroyed his mind, seeing as he has lost reason enough to know that Big Brother can't watch everyone all the time. About the society: they falsify records of the past which are illegal to read anyway, utter wastefulness. It shows how afraid and paranoid Big Brother is, but it also broadcasts to the hundreds of idiots like Winston who have to falsify the records that the records are indeed false. These hundred people ought to be able to start a revolution on that alone. Next, they kill people for an utterance against the government, presuming that they catch these people in the first place. So public speech is illegal, not much different from Seattle. They have all the children act as spies on their parents and people around. That's a pretty low-class thing to do. But it works. Of all the things that Big Brother does, it is the most effective. It was done in WW1 and WW2 Germany and is now being done in post-Sept. 11 USA. Next up is the huge working class. The working class are free (as in animal freedom). They are forced to work from age 12 to death and are definately not unionized. They work 80 hours per week for barely enough to survive on. Winston says that they are the only hope for revolution. Why doesn't the working class rebel against Big Brother? Why don't cattle rebel against ranchers? In this book, that is how they are treated. The author obviously took the conditions in current day and multiplied them by 2 and assumed no change. I don't think he's right. Nowadays, people don't rebel in general because the economy is good enough for them to afford nice things. If things were twice as bad, I'd say there'd be no way to stop revolution except for total anihilation. That's always an option for the ruling class, but of course it means the destruction of the ruling class as well since the ruling class cannot survive without the working class doing the work. Anyway, Winston certainly should not put his hope in the working class. He is powerful enough to make revolution happen. How? He would need to devise a plan that would take people's natural resentment of a poor economy and loads of lies and magnify it. Make himself a martyr, maybe. Or perhaps he could spread the revolution quick enough to shift blame away from himself. They could disarm Big Brother's guards and shift the tables. The masses win out. About the masses: there is a thing called the Bell Curve. It's well known in college since it applies to grades. You see, if you're a rational being, you're likely to sit somewhere in the middle of the Bell curve meaning that you have plenty of company. Your beliefs are likely to be common. If you're on the far right or far left, there might be something wrong or something really odd happening. It happens to me from time to time, but by definition most people are in the middle. But if the middle means that the person doesn't talk, then it doesn't mean anything. Winston needs to make himself heard. If he's in the middle, the revolution will be won. If he's in the extreme, then he has lost long before the game started. But back to dissecting Winston. Winston has a good thought here and there. His analysis of people like his "friend" who is working on the Newspeak dictionary is very good. He makes the note that his friend is not going to last. He has a bit too much intelligence. He is very loyal, but people who think in Oceania get killed. He also is critical of lies that he knows to be false. The chocolate ration fiasco was smart. He understood how it worked that people were willing to accept that the chocolate ration is going down as long as they say it was going up. People hear: "It's so great." And they spit it out, "Ah, how wonderful." But Winston has a certainty that chocolate tasted better at some point in his youth. Yes, things in Oceania are worse than capitalism. The truth of Oceania is that it is hardly different from capitalism at all. The differences that I've notices between 1984 and 2002 are interesting. In 1984, cameras are everywhere, but they don't actually watch you. In 2002, cameras are not everywhere, but they do watch you all the time. In 1984, they are overt about their oppression and make a new dictionary to ensure oppression. In 2002, they increase oppression and make a list of jargon to make it sound like fun. In 1984, they falsify and cover up the past overtly. In 2002, they falsify and cover up the present (which saves a lot of work, I might add). In 1984, sex is forbidden for the most part and love is illegal. In 2002, sex is deadly for the most part (40M infected with HIV and counting) and love is impractical. In 1984, the working class is overworked and underpaid. In 2002, the working class is overworked and underpaid/overpaid depending on who is complaining about it. Do you notice how every single comparison, 2002 is smarter and eviler than 1984? The government and corporations learned their lesson from 1984. When will we learn our lesson from 1984?

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