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Creation Date: 2002-02-25
My apology for yesterday's blatant disregard for humanity is two paragraphs down. But for now, let's learn about scenes. This is an interesting scene. You've seen it before, but not quite like this. This angle is the angle I want to use for JF Scene 5, Page 3. But the new thing is the tiled carpeting and the slight retexturing of the walls. I wanted stuff to look better and less DooM style. Remember DooM? I still have it. It was a good game for it's time, but I gotta say that the Nirvana "Heart Shaped Box" MIDI outdid the graphics by a mile. ^_^ In fact, I destroyed that midi a while ago and downloaded right after I typed that sentence. Now I'm listening to a different version and it isn't hard enough. Gotta find a harder version of it, you can't kill murderous aliens with a shotgun if your MIDI is too weak. Talking about midi, it will find it's way into almost every scene of JF Final. I doubt that it will materialize by rough draft Scene 5, but I oh so wish I could. Tool "Intermission" from their Aenima album is what I'm interested in for JF midi. But I have to produce all MIDIs myself. That's not too hard, since I've been doing MIDIs since 7th grade. Now I'm a physicist and I understand waves, I can r0X0r some MIDIs. But back to the lesson. What's the lesson? Get those walls to look right somehow. One way to get all the bricks the same size is to do that in LithUnWrap. It's a wonderful program, but I wasn't quite smart enough to make it work. What worked for me really well is the fact that I used boxes to create my scene. Milkshape textures boxes but beware extrusion. Of course, in that case you can just remap. It's no big deal, but it's a tough process. Lining up brick textures vertically is close to impossible. My advice is to get someone else to do it. Computers do those calculations so easily, it's a wonder why a programmer like Mete Ciragan, Brad Bolthouse or myself has not though of an easy autotexturer or UV typer that works alongside their program. Of course whenever you give the control to a computer, you lose mobility and safety. Perhaps spending an hour on stretching those darn faces is the correct thing to do.

The next lesson that is more free is to never mess with things that are already good enough. Unless you can make an advance that will save many people a bit of time without costing any fraction of the time or unless you can make the impossible practical, leave it alone! Mete and Brad both fit under both categories since their software saves hundreds of hours and hundreds of dollars and costs less time than walking to your local store and learning 3d Studio Max. I hope that AS3D will fit under the second category making real-time 3d anime practical where-as it is currently impossible.

I here-by apologize to those affected by yesterday's post being unauthorized. You may criticize my republishing the song that I put at the top of the post last night. If you will not, I will criticize myself for you. I should have given credit to WhirlGirl Flash Comic. It's a song by Trevor to WhirlGirl. It was not written by me, though I wish it were. The quote and song really encapsulates the entire freedom movement for me. In fact, let me expand on how that quote and song shaped my life as a pacifist anarchist. Listening to that song came to me at a very trying time in my life. I was split between the life that I had been living in Spokane and my new life at the University. The date was 08/23/1999, just two and a third years ago. But I was a very different person back then. My roommate Aaron and I were first year UW students. I was technically a Junior in college, but I'm technically graduating this year as a fifth year senior. Doing the logic, I was a sophmore at best. Anyway, my lifestyle was rough and my ideologies crude to today's standards. Note that I heard this song two months before I marched at the WTO protests alongside 50,000 people. I believe that in two years, my current ideologies will be looked back as fond yet unfounded motivations. Anyway, listening to this song and looking at my life, I found a huge incongruency. I was dating a girl Kristine (who was my first real girlfriend at age 18 sadly enough) who lived in Spokane while I studied in Seattle and pretended to truly love her. My ideologies of science before social life really conflicted with me having a girlfriend. Being nice to people and loving a person has a huge difference. It is the most shameful thing that I've done in my life to lead her on like that. Thankfully, she has forgiven me and she is now engaged to marry a good guy so she tells me. I'm happy for her. But I have not dated since. It's a priorities issue. I have my first priority as finding my way in life. I want to find my God, find my friends, find my job, and find the rest of my world. But the problem is that being a scientist is far more important to me than any person. Until that comes around, I vow to love everyone yet be lonely and to keep an eye out. You never know when misery (or true love, either works) will strike next.

However, I will not step back from the words I wrote. To criticize the quote is intolerable, yet I will die for your right to criticize it. Even though some will attempt to kill me to stop me from saying it, I will defend it. And I will say it again, "Are you still breaking the law? Yeah!" And I'll repeat it with my own addition, "Keep breaking the law and keep it peaceful!"

Indeed, the freedom movement has far less to do with what we are free from than what it is that we are free to. Being free to choose our own path, our own mistakes, our own friends, and our own lives. If we do not first free ourselves, we will never be free. Even when the walls come tumbling down, we will enslave ourselves as long as we hold on to hate, bigotry, destruction, and murder. Do not excuse yourself from blame! You indeed are the hater, the bigot, the destroyer, and the murderer. I, too must repent for I have done my fair share. Everyone is to blame, but that also means that we must not hold grudges against others who are no more guilty than us. Do your best to help those who attack you. If they are evil, disarm their armies. When they are broke and homeless and friendless, be their friend and they will take your hand. Then you will live in peace forevermore.

The day that the police shot Shawn Maxwell, I had trouble coping with the gravity of the situation. But after careful contemplation, I have decided that certainly I need to say: I forgive the Seattle Police Department specifically the officers who murdered Shawn Maxwell. I will not question their intentions, but their actions were wrong and in order to expect them to change their ways, I must forgive them. It is the way of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ to forgive and to love my neighbors as well as enemies. That I do here and forevermore. If I should show, think, or even feel hatred for the Seattle Police Department, let me repent publicly on the spot. I will attempt to keep myself in check as well.

Thank goodness no one reads these. ;_;

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